The IPad is here
On January 27, 2010, Steve Jobs unveiled the iPad to the world.  Let’s face it, it’s an oversized, overpriced iPod Touch.  For all of you Apple Fags out there, it’s like the second coming of Christ.  I can’t wait to see videos on YouTube of iPad users in public trying to look cool using that stupid piece of crap and dropping them!  Oh let me get back on track here.  What does it do you ask?
-Surf the web (slowly on ATT’s shitty network)!
-Email!
-Look at photos (that you insist on taking of yourselves with pouted lips out at a bar)!
-Watch videos!
-Download Apps!
-Buy and read books!
-Look at Google Maps!
-Contacts!
-Satisfy your “I have a shitting on glass surfaces fetish” fetish( the iPad’s touch surface is quite responsive to hot solid turds, as well as runny diarrhea)!
Oh, and best of all, you can only do one of the above at one time!
Let Kapitol do you a favor.  Give us the $499 you would give Apple and that walking Auschwitz prisoner Steve jobs and we will blindfold you, kick you in the balls or twat and walk you off the Green Island bridge.

Local Mass-Hole leaves Bachelor Biff Jake
Yes it’s true.  On this season of The Bachelor, a favorite of many here on the Kapitol staff, Ali Fedotowsky left the show before the rose ceremony, which aired February, 8 2010 on ABC.   Ali, originally from Williamstown, MA, is a 2002 graduate of Mt. Greylock High School.  Ali has a great face, banging body, and a booty that we here at Kapitol would want to pull up to, whip out our monkey’s and smack ‘dat dumper-bumper!
It is rumored however that she may be back on the show in some form or another.  We are holding our collective breath here at Kapitol.
As of February 10, 2010, the expert internet shit-hounds here at Kapitol found her personal email address.  We put a message through requesting an interview.  We have not heard anything yet from her, and quite honestly, cannot understand why anyone would wait to respond to such a great website like KapitolMagazine.com, but will keep you all posted when we do!